The Rescue

PART 1

Hello um… whoever is reading this. I am narrating to you an incident that happened in my life that probably changed my life. I thought that would increase my followers on instagram and, you know, earn me some bucks.

So anyway the incident that I was talking about is very clichéd, I was stuck on an island. Yeah yeah say whatever you want to say, sigh loudly or do whatever you do when you are tired of people narrating stories about them stuck on an island.

So it all started when I was on a cruise (I am not telling you where it goes due to privacy reasons). It ran into another big cruise ship. I don’t know why. Maybe the captain was sleeping or maybe he could see the future and thought that he would crash the cruise so that I able to earn some money by writing about my adventures. Well I do not appreciate it; I don’t like being stuck on an island with creepy crawlies crawling all around me all time.

So anyways I saw that there was an island nearby and thought that I would just swim to the island and save my life, easy. It turned out that it wasn’t so easy. The distance was more than I had expected and the waves constantly washed me with fresh fish (I did not have fun having the most fresh sushi in the world).

I somehow managed to reach the island and because of my childhood, which I spent reading Robinson Crusoe, I thought I was the only survivor and I was stuck on this island for eternity. I sulked about it for a while then I started to find ways of how I would spend my life on this island and how would I pass my time with no sockets for charging my phone and zero internet connectivity.

I thought I’d better make a place where I can live. So I started making a camp for me to live in. I collected some long thin logs of wood and stood them on four corners of a random place on the isolated island. I then draped on them coconut leaves and became the first person to make a tent out of wood and coconut leaves on that spot of an island, not much of a record right I know.

After that there was the challenge of finding food. I roamed the jungles inside the island to find dry wood which I could burn to cook fish (because I did not want to be bear grills). Turns out that there wasn’t an ounce of dry wood on the island. It had just rained. I also found that I did not have an ounce of nervous matter.

\I had brought quality material for starting fires like matchsticks and lighters, but I was not using it, what a moron I am.  When I realised, I used up all my matchsticks to start a fire that night but at least 

I got a fire. That was good for a start. I caught some fish (only I know how much trouble I had to go through for that meal) and roasted them over the fire. I have to admit wild fish taste good if you know how to cook them properly.

I lay on the sand beneath my first-tent-to-have-been-made-on-this-spot-of-the-island, for the entire night, unable to sleep.

Part 2

I woke up next morning to see that the island was actually really beautiful. I got out of bed (or sand, whatever) and wondered what I would do. Then I thought that I will do what I usually do when I am not stranded on an isolated island because the captain of a cruise, who is fortune teller, decides he wants to let me earn some money.

Brushing my teeth was the first thought that came into my mind but I cannot do that so I decided I would bathe (not in the sunlight). I took off my clothes and went for a splash in the sea. Again I proved I was a dumbass. How can someone into a sea not knowing what is inside the sea, wearing nothing but underwear. I met a shark but thanks to my training about living on sea I knew how to deal with it. I punched it between the eyes and swam for my life.

I waited for my underwear to dry before going into the jungle to find a freshwater source. I again proved that I had zero nervous matter inside my head. I had the whole sea to myself. All I had to do was purify it a little by boiling it. I went into the dark jungle and I did manage to find a freshwater source (congratulations to me, my biggest victory after coming to this island).

I filled my containers with water and roamed the woods again to find dry wood because I had exhausted my supply of matchsticks. I eventually found a lot of dry wood so I took as much as I could to my camp site. After that I arranged for my lunch and dinner by catching some fish and then I had the whole day to myself, I could do whatever I wanted to do. Instead of checking my instagram I decided I would make a better and safer tent for myself (the smartest decision I had made since coming on the island). I tightened the security around the tent by adding a wall around it. I collected big chunks of rocks and piled them on top of each other around my tent. I also collected some mildly poisonous plants to burn in my tent before going to sleep, hoping they would act as creepy-crawly repellents.

Now I was absolutely free to check my instagram but I still didn’t do it. I made some weapons to use against wild animals if they happen to wander into my territory (I think I was becoming smarter).

After that I felt free to do anything so I slept a little bit early that day.

Part 3

My third day on the island was very boring. I had done all the necessary things like collect wood, find water and find food. I had nothing to do. But then something unexpected happened. If you are guessing someone came to rescue me, unfortunately, you are wrong. If you are guessing that I met mutant animals on the island which are deadly and creepy, congratulations you are right.

How could this have been possible? Well I know I am dumb but how did I never see them for the past 3 days. I first saw them when I was in my sun powered oven tent (Not checking my instagram).

An insect came into my tent and thankfully, because of my training I knew it had a poisonous bite, so I lit a fire to some of the poisonous plants and put the burning wad of leaves on the insect. It did not die. I was puzzled as to why did the insect not die, I took a rock and brought it down on the insect. The insect had a green blood. As I picked up the rock I saw it was smeared with the insect’s bright green blood.

I was so confused that I decided I must be hallucinating so I made an attempt to sleep, but as soon as I laid down, another one of the insects bit me on my leg. I picked it up with my hands and incinerated it with my lighter. I felt dizzy. A balloon popped in front of my vision and then it turned into a lizard and then it turned into a bomb which burst and I blacked out. I am sure that this time I was actually hallucinating.

I woke up in the jungle in the dead of night. Big dark figures were moving around me talking is hushed voices. What were they talking about? Where was I? I had no idea about any of those. As my vision cleared I saw that the big dark figures that I had seen around me appeared to be like chimpanzees that looked like normal chimpanzees except they were of fifty per cent bigger and infinite per cent more buff.

That was when I guessed that the insects I killed in my tent may have been like these chimpanzees – mutants.

A wave of fear engulfed me. I was starting to think what they would do to me. If I was lucky they would just kill me and eat me, but if I was unlucky enough they would use me, I was probably the first human to have come on this island. I was the alien for them and they would use me as an experimental subject.

I was sprawled across the forest’s ferny floor when a big dark figure came over to the place where I was. It said something in a language that I did not understand. The language Mr Chimpanzee was talking in definitely did not seem to be primitive, in fact it sounded as though the language was much more advanced than English or any other language spoken on the Earth.

The figure gave me a piece of fruit to eat. The fruit did not look like any fruit that we grow, so I decided it was a mutant fruit (yes fruits can be mutants). I ate it like a very dumb person who accepts mutant fruits from big, buff and talking apes. I instantly fell unconscious.

PART 4

I woke up the next day on a slab of stone the size of a car. The same dark figures were moving all around me and again one gave me a mutant fruit. I did not eat it this time but. I threw it on the chimpanzee’s face (yeah, bad idea right. You should be either very brave or very stupid to throw a mutant fruit at a mutant ape’s face who takes steroids for breakfast. If you ask me, I think I was brave. Cough).

The bodybuilder ape retaliated. He threw the fruit back at me and like a very dumb imbecile I threw it back at him again. He threw it back at me and I threw it back at him and on and on until he got fed up and punched me in the face with his muscular arm, I stopped it but still did not eat the fruit.

I stood up to look around at what was happening and saw that the place was infested with all sorts of mutant animals. Sheep with wool made of actual gold, flesh-eating roosters, just name it. I asked a talking dog about what was happening and to my surprise he replied in English.

“Oh boy, you are not going to be good. They are planning to do experiments on you.” The dog told me

“How do you speak English?” I asked

“I am the only living person on this island that has gone to the world of the evolved apes. I mean your world.” He replied

“What do you mean by living?”

“Um I had actually taken a friend with me but you people captured him and I don’t know what you did with my friend.”

“Yes, there was news about a mutant dog being captured. Was he your good friend?”

“Not ‘he’, ‘she’. She was a very good friend of mine. We were the only of our kind.”

“So what are you planning to do with me?”

“I don’t know what they want to do. I told them that you were just an innocent human, but they won’t listen, that Leopoldo and his men.”

“Who is he, the guy that punched me in the face?”

“Yes. He is an airhead thinks he is the strongest because of all his muscles. I wonder who will tell him how stupid he looks when he is flexing his muscles in front of those ladies.”

“I am going to die right?”

“I hope you were so lucky. Leopoldo won’t let you go so easily. He will do experiments on you and torture you in every possible way like you must have done to my partner.”

“If you feel sad for me then help me get out of here.”

“Are you crazy? I am not going to do that. Leopoldo will kill me for doing that.”

“Oh, so you are scared of that dumbass.”

“Oh yes, I am.”

“Then tell me who here is very clever, speaks English, and is not a worshipper of Leo-whatever.”

“That old dude over there with big white teeth can help you then.” He said

“Thanks, o’ great talking dog. Bye.”

I went over to the old elephant and asked him if he could help me.

“Yes I do have a plan.” he said

PART 5

I was getting ready for the plan that the old elephant had told me. The place where I was, was guarded 24/7, but over the years he had found several loopholes in the defence. Every fortnight Leopoldo had a boxing match with the prisoners. All the guards and citizens are invited at the match except 30 apes that guard the area and make sure that no one goes out or comes in the area.

10 of them are archers which stand on 10 tall towers made of wood. We could easily set the towers on fire using some fuel and my lighter though that would make them suspicious so we decide we would burn the tower furthest from the centre of the area to create a distraction. We will then steal some supplies from the storage.

The 20 swordsman guarding the place would also not be easy to pass but my elephant friend had worked out a plan for even that. Every hour one small area is completely unguarded and unwatched for 5 whole minutes. I would go through this place to the furthest tower and set it on fire with some fuel. When everyone has gone from the centre my friend elephant would steal some supplies like a boat and some weapon. Meanwhile I will have to hide inside a hollow tree near the tower so that I am not seen.

The plan had several loopholes but it was the best plan I had so I went with it.

We executed it but in the end it turned out that the talking dog had eavesdropped on us talking. He tipped Leopoldo about how I was trying to escape. I was caught hiding in the hollow tree trunk and even my elephant friend was captured.

Leopoldo had a perfect punishment for me. He challenged me at a boxing match and if he won I would be killed but if I won he would let me go. I had to promise that I would not speak anything about them after going to my world.

The buffed chimpanzees dragged me to the boxing ring which was fully made from wood. I was the best fighter on my cruise that sank but I did not think that I would be able to beat him. He was so big and strong that it was an effort not to wet my pants when he came into the ring. He pounded his big bulky chest and the referee (who was the dog) signalled for the match to begin.

To Be Continued...

PART 6

Leopoldo won. He kicked my but during the boxing match and I was imprisoned, my execution date was made final. I had given up now, I had developed a strange optimism, I could not lose anything now, at least they will not be experimenting on me now.

I was in the jail, counting my days, enjoying my last moments. Even the elephant seemed to share my optimism, he too enjoyed his own last moments.

Both of us were talking, I was telling him about games in our world, he seemed particularly interested in chess, then the door of the door opened and the dog came in. The guards let him come in because he was the one who got us caught.

He approached both of us and spoke barely in a whisper

" Your plan was shit old elephant, I overheard you and I had to stop you from executing the plan or you would have ended up in a worst position than you are in now. I had a better plan. So I told Leopoldo. Now come after me."

He led us out and when the guards questioned him he told them that Leopoldo had announced early execution. With the help of his authority which he had gained overnight he led us straight at the beach and there I saw my tent.

He crouched at the shore line and fidgeted with something, suddenly a sea monster sprung out of the sea and looked at him. He told us that if we had tried to escape our way then the monster would have killed us and not only that but he would have become more hungry and eaten whole continents. But now he could control him. The dog ordered the monster to take me to my world and end the story.

So it happened. So much for believing that I would be rescued by earthlings and there would be some cool action.

THE END