An Improvement... 2nd Installment

Hello Readers. Today I am posting the second installment of me talking about and reacting to my previous posts. Don't forget to subscribe 👆👆 up there and comment below 👇👇👇 if you like it. So now lets start with reacting to my first ever posts.

Now I promised you that I would react to 'The AI War Part 1' but I need to say too things
1) I am sorry I am going to break my promise &
2) I will react to my 5th post 'My New Sister M-O-N-I-K-A'

The reason behind this is that to react to something it need to be bad. At least that is true for me. So the 'The AI War Part 1' is not very bad (yes I read it). My 3rd post 'The Painting' is actually really good. I had actually written it for a class test but then I liked the plot so I edited and re-edited many times and I even put it for the school magazine, so it too is too good to react on. My 4th post 'The AI War Part 2' is also not as bad.

Also I noticed now that my sentence structure in the last paragraph is very loose, sorry but I am not editing it (This is all that I have to do in these installments, insult my English skills, seems easy).



The post starts with me blabbering about me posting a new horror story blah, blah and asking to comment etc.

THEN... The story starts

I had always wanted to use an Ouija board. I always wanted to see if that entire ghost thingy was real. I always wanted to prove them wrong. I always thought that all this was shit. But I never got a chance to do so. I could not find someone who would do it with me. Then one day I convinced my sister to play the Ouija board with me.

The whole freakin' shit is too direct and it seems I may even be making a budget announcement. I don't believe I used the word 'thingy'. Why did I? Was I so bad. I think I had meant to write another sentence about me being too scared to do it myself, anyways, screw me I was bad.

NEXT...

That night we sat on the soft, squishy mattress in our extravagant room. With my trembling fingers I took out a box from underneath the bed and opened it, to reveal that the horrors hidden inside were covered with a ghostly white colored napkin. I removed the napkin and there it was; the Ouija board.

The description of the comfortable bed does not help in building the atmosphere. Heck, there was no atmosphere, there is not atmosphere to create during a budget announcement(except the boringness in the atmosphere)(I know 'boringness' is not a word but you should get the idea). My impressive use of jargon definitely does not fit in the text. Huh, what was I thinking?

NEXT...

It was rather a finely finished board made of red oak, the reddish cast with a grey-brown color was surprising horrifying. The words yes and no were glinting in the faint moonbeams coming from the window. The twenty six letters of the English alphabet were there along with those big scary numbers. The edges were covered with black plastic to protect the board from dents.

Okay, now I am at the point of quitting this whole thing and abandoning the concept. Consider yourself lucky if you are reading it because there is a fat chance I will reach the end of this post. I have done poorly in describing the Ouija board. I have made fun of such a horrific paranormal device, may I burn in hell. Hell.

NEXT...

Under the dim light of the moon we put our fingers on the coin and recited the magic words “Is there any paranormal power around that can talk to us” nothing happened. We repeated “Is there any paranormal power around that wants to talk to us” before I could complete my sentence the coin moved to the word ‘yes’.

I look like a complete idiot when reading the part when I am repeating the magic words. The paragraph seems fine otherwise.

NEXT...

“S…s…sis, did you do that” I stuttered.

“No I didn’t” she replied

“Then who did”

Dialogues...Dialogues...Dialogues. Why don't I stop writing? Why haven't I had a panic attack yet? Why am I alive? If no one reads it now at least I will know in my afterlife that I was close, just one more para was left. I'm proud of myself to have made it this far.

NEXT...

The coin moved to and from a series of alphabets reading M-O-N-I-K-A. My head turned towards my sister and our eyes met a horrifying, terrifying, breathtaking moment, and then it hit me - my sister couldn’t speak, she was born mute.

I apologize, Readers, if you have read this post before, I now realize how hard it it to read this. Somehow reading till the end despite of the weak attempts at creating an atmosphere and finding that the ending could have sounded good if the stupid guy ( me of course ) hadn't kept so much of time gap between the sister speaking and the stupid guy ( me again of course ) realizing.

PHEW, ITS OVER

That was a disaster. Reacting to this post had hardened me, made me a stupid story handling veteran. I think I will be able to continue posting installments of this.